International Bereaved Mother's Day 2017 | Bowling Green, KY
What is International Bereaved Mother's Day?
"A day for any parent who has lost a child, and in particular, holding space for mothers who are grieving their children on this day."
Oh how my heart wishes that there were never a need for this day. How I wish that every baby could be born happy and healthy, into the arms of love.
As many of you know, I became a volunteer photographer for Now I Lay Me Down to Sleep many years before I became a maternity and birth photographer.
Now I Lay Me Down to Sleep is a volunteer organization that offers remembrance photography, to families suffering the loss of a infant. This service is completely free of charge to the families and is a gift that volunteer photographers across the world, give of their time and talents.
NILMDTS Co- Founder Sandy Puc the words that my heart feels.
"We can't change what's happening to these people, but we can change the way they heal for the rest of their lives."
This is why I volunteer.
Any of you who know me personally, know that I feel as though it is my calling in life to help families of loss. I am attending class right now to become certified as a birth and bereavement doula. For more information on the resources offered by Stillbirthday, please visit the link to their website.
What can you do to help families who have experienced the loss of a pregnancy, an infant, or a child?
Here are some tips from the founder of
International Bereaved Mother's Day.
You can find more information at
TIPS ON HOW TO HELP A BEREAVED MOTHER THIS MOTHER’S DAY
1. Acknowledge: Think about the women in your life. Do you know if they have suffered a loss? Have they struggled to conceive a child? Are they unable to fall pregnant? It does not matter what they have faced, they still deserve love and recognition for being the beautiful mothers that they are. In the words of Franchesca Cox, “A mother is not defined by the number of children you can see, but by the love that she holds in her heart.” Sometimes a few simple heartfelt words in a card/letter/sms/email is all it takes to help lift the spirits of a mother hurting this Mother’s Day. “You are a beautiful mother.” or “You have a beautiful Mother Heart.” “You are an honour to your children.” “This world need more mother’s like you.” A simple “I am thinking of you today.” is perfect. Extend as much love as you can and if you can give that mother a hug in person, even better.
2. Speak Their Child’s Name: This is so important. People are often afraid to say their child’s name because they feel like they will be reminding the mother of what happened. Us mothers, we never forget. One of our biggest fears is that our children will be forgotten, so speak their names. It is one of the greatest gifts you could give.
3. Hold Space and Listen: Spend some time with your friends and family. Hold a safe space for them. Ask them how they are doing and really listen to them. You do not have to offer your advice, truth is, if you have not experienced what they have, it probably isn’t going to help anyway. Sometimes all we need is someone to listen to us. You do not need to fix your loved one, you just need to love them.
4. Honour Their Journey and/or Child: There are a few things that you can do to make this day special. Firstly, if your friend has experienced the death of one or more of their children, you could do something in memory of them. A few ideas could be, planting a tree or giving the mother a tree to plant in their honour. You could give the mother a piece of memorial jewellery that features her child’s name or love hearts if her babies were too young to be named. You could make a donation to a charity in their honour.
5. Accept: Accept that your loved one may not want to attend the family gathering this year. If they feel that they could not handle the event, they are taking responsibility for their own healing. This is truly wonderful. Honour their choice, even if it disappoints you. Tell them that you understand and that if they change their mind on the day, they are still welcome to come. Let them know that they will be thought of.
Thinking of my own sweet babies today. Holding those who have experienced loss in my heart and thoughts, today and always.
If you or someone you know ever needs to reach out, to talk, to walk through emotions please don't hesitate to contact me .. I'm here for you and with you to walk this journey. You are never alone.